For information specific to Trans men ( 'and the men who dig them' ), visit: or download the pdf version of the document here.

For more information specific to BDSM and related activities between men, please visit:


Safer Sex Menu

Nothing spoils your sexual appetite faster than contracting a sexually transmitted infection like HIV. This menu will explain your choices of sexual activity and the level of risk associated with each one. Safer sex is…

  • about reducing your risk
  • fun, stimulating, sexual, exciting and erotic
  • for everyone regardless of gender, age, race, sexual orientation, number of partners or believed monogamy
  • important in any sexual activity where there is risk of transmitting HIV or other sexually transmitted infection (e.g. gonorrhea, herpes, chlamydia, hepatitis, etc.)

“I don’t sleep around, why should I practice safer sex?”
Risky sexual activity can lead to HIV infection, an unappetizing situation. Reducing your number of sexual partners and periodic HIV testing make good sense, but cannot replace practicing safer sex.

“What if I’m in a monogamous relationship?”
Even monogamous couples should think carefully about safer sex. If you or your partner has had even one possible exposure to HIV, you may be at risk.

“I’ve never had sex with someone who’s HIV-positive… I could tell.”
You can’t tell if someone is HIV-positive. Besides, there is a “window period” of  up to about three months between the time a person is infected with HIV and the time that they will test positive for HIV antibodies. It is during this period that a person is at their most infectious and most likely to infect someone else, because they do not know they are infected.

Browse through this menu and plan a meal that reduces the risk of HIV infection without spoiling your appetite. Here’s how we’ve rated the menu:

No risk: To our knowledge, none of the practices in this group has ever led to HIV infection. There is no potential for transmission since none of the basic conditions for infection are present.
No real risk: The practices in this category present a potential for HIV transmission because they involve an exchange of body fluids (such as semen, vaginal fluid or blood). However, the possibility of HIV transmission appears to be unlikely. There are no confirmed reports of infection from these activities.
Low risk: The practices in this category present a potential for HIV transmission. There are also a few reports of infection attributed to these activities.
High risk: Practices in this category present a potential for HIV transmission and there are a significant number of scientific studies that associate these activities with HIV transmission. 

These ratings ONLY apply to the level of risk associated with the transmission of HIV. Consult with your health care provider to determine ways of protecting yourself from other sexually transmitted infections.



These dishes are also available à la mode (with a condom).
Using a condom substantially reduces
the risk of infections if you are giving or receiving.
Using a water-base lubricant is also a great way of increasing your stimulation, and decreasing the risks.

Finger Foods

Hors d’Oeuvres


Use of condoms lubricated with spermicide (Nonoxynol 9)  is considered risky, because the harsh chemicals in it can damage the lining of the vagina and especially the rectum and provide a transmission route for HIV. CONDOMS WITH N-9 SHOULD NEVER BE USED WITH ANAL SEX. However, if a N-9 lubed condom is the only condom you have and you are not willing to wait until you have a safer condom, use the N-9 condom --- it is better than no condom at all

Chef’s Special

All the best establishments suggest you always bring your own condom-ents.

For a special taste sensation, try flavoured, water-based lubricants and flavoured latex condoms.  They are just as safe and effective and won’t leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.

Take Out Menu

Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM)
BDSM activities should follow the safer sex practices in this menu.  Extra care should be taken for high-risk activities that involve drawing blood. To prevent the exchange of body fluids, avoid contact between bodily fluids and you or your partner(s) mouth, vagina, anus, penis, or an open cut or sore. For more specific info, visit: (Graphic information and images)

Tattoos and Body Piercing
Activities that break the skin, such as body piercing and tattooing, are high-risk activities that require quite sterile precautions, i.e. new needles, new ink, proper after care and sterilization every time.  These precautions will probably not be available to a do-it-yourselfer or may not be adhered to by less reputable establishments.  You should seek out professional technicians who adhere to proper sterilization and safety procedures.


There is no such thing as a bad dessert!  The following activities are all “No Risk”, safe, calorie-free and fun:

  • Fantasizing
  • Sensual touch and massage
  • Hand holding
  • Cybersex
  • Phone sex 
  • Masturbation
  • Mutual masturbation
  • Hugging
  • Bubble baths
  • Watching erotic videos

Return to Informed Briefs

Public HealthMinistry of OntarioUnited WayTrillium FoundationGuelph Community Foundation